[Not all of these laws are still on the books]
- In Fargo, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
- It is illegal to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in any bar, club, or restaurant.
- In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
- In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell cornflakes on Sunday.
- In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to disrobe in front of a man’s picture.
- In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
- Catch 22 is banned in Strongville.
- People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- In Schulter, it is illegal for a woman to gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
- One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing,” i.e., that which covers one’s body from neck to knee.
- The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.
- Salem has barred women’s wrestling.
- In Marion, ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
- “Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.”
- In Morrisville, women need a permit to wear cosmetics.
- Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
- In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
- It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
- In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.
- Every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.
- No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
- In Charleston, all carriage horses must wear diapers.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
- Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
- In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
- In Memphis restaurants, it is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.
- Also in Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself: “a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.”
- In Tennessee, drivers with a restricted license must have parental permission to go to or from an official school or work function after 11 pm and before 6 am, but if you’re going hunting at 4 am, all you need is a hunting license. No parental permission is required for that. (Submitted by Annie A.)
- The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
- A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
- In El Paso, churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.”
- It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
- In Houston, it is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
- In LeFors, it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
- In San Antonio, it is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
- In Mesquite, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
- In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
- It is illegal to whistle underwater.
- In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
- In Norfolk, a man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere.
- There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.”
- In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.
- In Seattle, women who sit on men’s laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
- In Auburn, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
- Seattle residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet.
- It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
- In Nicholas County, no clergy members may tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during church services.
- Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
- It is illegal to snooze on a train.
- In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
- It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
- It is illegal to kiss on a train.
- Cheese making requires a cheese maker’s license; Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
- It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs peoples’ view in a public theater or place of amusement.
- It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking